Feeling Bad

Yesterday my little sister called me and told me that our Aunt Lori was in the hospital in Pocatello in the ICU on a ventilator. She said that mom called her and told her about it and said it wasn't looking so good. The Dr. has advised them to call family in because it wasn't looking too good. When she told me this I immediately said, "Well, "It's about time for her to go." I felt bad after saying it and realized that it sounded kind of heartless. Then I wondered am I a heartless person? Do I really care about others and there problems? It seems that it is hard to take on other peoples problem when you yourself are struggling with your own. So am I a compassionate person? I hope so because sometimes I wonder.
     My aunt has struggling with her health for most of her life. I can't remember when she wasn't sick. She has been in and out of the hospital many, many, many times in her life. This isn't the first time she has been in ICU on a ventilator. I remember when I was a kid going over to my cousins house and my cousin having to take care of her mom a lot while she was growing up. Bless her heart! How would that be knowing that your mother will never ever get better and having to help take care of her. I was thinking that I don't know if I could have done that when I was younger, an adolescent. It would be hard. I know that I could do it now that I am an adult, but when you are a child. WOW! Is all I have to say. So my thoughts and prayers are with my aunt and her family at this time and I am hoping for the best. If she does pass on she will certainly be in a better place. She will have a better body than she does now and she will be able to see her relatives that have gone on before her.